Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
