lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
