I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
