so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
