I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
