NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
