Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
All I want is dick and wine.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
