I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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