paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
