Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize