Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
