Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
