Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
