Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i dont even know how to be here
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
