I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
