Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
