This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
