Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
