If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
