i already hear my dad disowning me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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