Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
