I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
