i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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