After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
