White coat. Heels.
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
