How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
