My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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