I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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