I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
