im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
