Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
