Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you never un-have a 4some
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
