I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
