i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
