So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
