You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
