6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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