I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
