it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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