The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
