# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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