we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
