It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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