My room smells like vodka and shame
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
