the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
