We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
