That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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