Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
