is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
