Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
