Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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